The MarySue that wasn't
by Huasen-Butter
Summary: What happens when an average OC visits the OOC DA? Brainbreak, that's what! Join Mari Suzuki in her oneshot trip to Domino Asylu-I mean Duel Academia! Romance, adventure, angst & comedy all rolled into one! Warning: May include slight amounts of dueling.


This fic basically is my explanation on why so many fics have Sues/Stus in them, but not normal OCs with typical lives.

**Disclaimer! Desu~: **If I owned anything other than my laptop, I wouldn't be so damn bored.

Also, I won't be updating my fics as much because I'm busy trying to find out how to hack a PSP. :/

_DA (noun): the initials of either Duel Academia or Domino Asylum. Depending on which fanfic you're reading, there may be no difference between the two.  
_

* * *

Once upon time, in the year 1990-something, at the stroke of midnight, a beautiful baby was born. But who cares about that?

On another continent, 39 hours ago, another baby was born.

This is where our badfic begins.

**13 years l8er...**

A special & luxurious cruise ship was bringing two teenagers to Duel Academy despite the fact that it was already the middle of the 2nd year & midterm exams had already been taken.

"Isn't this just AMMAAAAAAAAZIIINNNG?" sighed the girl over-dramatically, poising in a manner familiar to anyone who saw _Titanic_.

"Hmmm" grunted the boy.

"Why won't you say anything? It's our job to save this world, increase world population & overwhelm everyone with our amazing cards that Uncle Pegasus gave us before he died of cancer!" sniffed the Mary-Sue. The Gary-Sue just stared at her emo-lly, grunted again & shuffled his RARE deck with his stump of an arm.

At that moment, a tidal wave came out of nowhere & destroyed the ship.

* * *

_Cool! So this is Duel Academia. Can't wait to see Dad again._

Peeking out of the helicopter window is our protagonist, Mari Suzuki. Despite the misleading name, she is not a Mary-Sue. Mari's father works as a librarian in Duel Academy's library & Mari is visiting him for _Bring your kid to work day_. Also, she's only 13 & therefore too young to join.

Mari blinked around before pressing her face against the cool surface of the window again. _Geez, there's not many kids here. Makes sense I guess, it's hard to find someone while working on a secluded island like this. But what's up with their hair?_

Unlike every other person in the series, Mari looked just like your average Asian, which meant that she looked completely weird compared to everyone else.

Anyway, soon the helicopter landed & all the kids got off to find their parents & explore the place. Almost as soon as Mari got off though, she was ambushed.

"WOW! ARE YOU A NEW STUDENT HERE? DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF WISDOM, DUELING/LOVE ADVICE FOR ME? HI, I'M YUKI JUDAI!" shouted the attacker.

Ears ringing from that rather loud introduction, Mari stared at the boy. _'Kay...why does his head look like the shitake from yesterday's salad?_

"Ummm, I'm not a student. I'm just, like, visiti-" Mari started before being cut off by a what appeared to be a fluffy cloud in a trash can.

"Aniki! Asuka says that she wants to challenge you right now!" squealed the newcomer.

"What? That must mean that she's in heat! Don't worry Asuka-chan! I'll be there to save you from that pyschic fish!" yelled Judai in a not-so-heroic manner.

_The-they're rehearsing for a play right? A totally messed up play right? RIGHT?_

"Can I leave now? I seriously need to find my dad &-"

"What? Your father has been captured? Was it an evil organization? No wait, the Arcadia Movement! They must have genetically engineered you from Yugi Moto's cells! Quick! We have to help Kira here save her parents!" Judai interrupted again. Mari just stared until the trash can cloud spoke up again.

"Aniki, what about Asu-"

"Forget about that bimbo! She's just a slut anyway! My heart belongs to Manjoume, Johan & Kaiser & this girl right here!"

_Dude, like what? Is this idiot bipolar or something? Maybe I was dropped off at the wrong island. Yeah, I mean, this could be Domino Asylum & not Duel Academia, right?_

"Dude, I don't even know you. Could someone just tell me where the library is?"

Before Judai could answer with possibly something even more brainbreaking than what he just said, a girl with blond hair & breasts the size of melons stalked in, her high heels clicking in an oddly terrifying way.

"Judai! Join the Light now! We shall repopulate the Earth even though its goal is to eradicate all life! After all, Saiou is running a dating service & not an evil cult." barked the blond.

"Oh, Asuka! You must pine for me so! After all, we are fiancees & destined to marry each other despite having almost nothing in common & completely different goals." spoke Judai in a nauseatingly romantic manner. Asuka blushed, despite being completely brainwashed with a heart of ice. "Judai, my love, that's all I've ever wanted. Being a teacher pales in comparison to giving up my virginity to you." And then they kissed. French of course, because Judai is clearly Casanova with cards.

_Ewwwww. Man, I'm never getting married. Ick. -_-"_

Judai turned to Mari & said, "All right! After 2 chapters of Asuka & me getting laid & destroying Saiou, we'll help you with your parents."

Luckily, Mari had anticipated this & walked away before Judai had opened his mouth. She had no idea what they were talking about & all she wanted was to see her dad.

**{TEN MINUTES L8ER}**

_Dammit, I'm lost._

Mari frowned, she hadn't expected to get lost _this _quickly. But, then again, people did tell her that her elevator didn't go up to the top floor & those clouds _were _pretty interesting to look at.

"OHMIGOSH! IT'S A SLIFER SLACKER! DUEL!" shouted an Obelisk blue who jumped out of nowhere. He whipped out his duel disk & drew five cards.

_WTF dude, I'm not even wearing the school uniform. How the hell does a pink T-shirt with strawberries, like, count as an Osiris red jacket? And girls aren't even allowed in that dorm!_

"Why are you people, like, so FREAKING loud?" Mari yelled at the Obelisk. "I don't even have my duel disk with me. And I haven't even finished building my deck yet!"

"What do you mean haven't finishe...Holy Hell! You must be a Singer! I surrender! Don't teach me morals on discrimination!" the Obelisk yelped before running off.

"...IS, LIKE, EVERYBODY ON THIS ISLAND A COMPLETE FUCKING MORON!" Mari yelled at the sky. Huffing, the pre-teen stomped off in a hurry to find somewhere with more sanity & logic.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

"Wow! Crimson Dragon, thank you so much!" gushed a soaking wet girl as she petted the giant celestial being like a puppy. The soaking wet boy next to her grunted again & stared at his signer mark, the Eye. The girl raised her her arm, showing off her signer mark, the Brain, before yelling " Return, Crimson Dragon!". An action sequence similar to a Pokeball issued forth & the Crimson Dragon disappeared.

"Now, dear brother, let's fly to Duel Academy on our Synchro Dragons with out pyschic powers." the girl declared, before adding "Even though we are not worthy of anything, especially after our parents died for our sake & left us with only these powerful cards as clues."

"Whatever, sis." the boy grumbled before mounting his dragon. Then they took off & flew towards Duel Academia Island. Too bad there was a head wind.

* * *

Mari sighed, she had been wandering around for about thirty minutes & she was getting no where nearer to her destination than she was thirty minutes ago. "Ugh, I need help." she muttered to herself.

Suddenly, a tall menacing navy haired guy in black appeared. "I can help," he said in a very strange & soft tone. "Just ask Ryo here anything you want little girl."

_Sc-scary! _Mari cringed & then a thought struck her. _Wait, isn't he Hell Kaiser? That masochist who practically slaughtered his opponents after that losing streak? ...This is, like, beyond disturbing._

"Uh...do you know how to get to the main building? I'm a little lost & everyone here seems to be a dork, rather than a duelist."

"Of course, & by the way, are you single?"

"...I'm thirteen. Isn't there, like, a six year difference?"

"True love needs no boundaries."

"Dude, we just met, like, 5 seconds ago."

"It's called love at first sight."

"...That's it. I'm out of here."

"Do not forget me my love!" called the Kaiser overdramatically, his black jacket flaring with all its emo-ness.

Suddenly, (a wild) Judai appeared. "Kaiser! We'll save you from the evil force possessing you since no one could possibly make the choice to be a total dick without some sort of malevolent spirit in control!" he yelled.

_Hasn't this idiot ever heard of self awareness? Not to mention that he's the one acting like a total dick right now. -_-_

Mari just shook her head & walked away, leaving Judai to yell at the Kaiser for about 2 minutes before Asuka came & then they started emo-ing together.

* * *

"Samejima, right? Is there anyway you could possibly arrange another flight so I can get off this island?"

Mari had finally made her way to the principal's office while dodging a disturbing amount of whores, homophobes, racists & cocky duelists who were all very 2-Dimensional when ever she tried to ask them something. If she didn't know any better, she would have mistook them for moving & incredibly rude cardboard cutouts of people.

"My dear, why would you ever want to leave our school? We have everything: lack of law enforcement, suicidal students, evil forces & love quadrangles everywhere!"

"For the last time, I am not a student: I am a VISITOR." She flashed her very obvious visitor pass. "Plus, this school doesn't even have good duelists! They're all either unskilled jerks or bipolar sex-driven idiots! Haven't you noticed that no one thinks reasonably here? On the way here, I even saw some Osiris reds pelting a teacher with shoes for being too ugly!"

Samejima just gave her a weird look after she finished venting & spoke in a soft tone. "...I see." Then he suddenly flipped open a panel on the wall & pressed a red button. Then, a loud alarm sounded & the PA system blared this message:

**ATTENTION. ATTENTION. FREE THINKER ALERT. I REPEAT. FREE THINKER ALERT.**

_Dude, is that a freaking SIREN? WHAT THE HELL?_

Mari was just about open her mouth & tell the him off when two burly guys in suits burst in & dragged her away.

* * *

"Yessss! We finally made it! Oh, I can't believe that it took us months & that we survived drinking rainwater & flying fish from the ocean." the girl declared as she disembarked her dragon. The boy grumbled before getting off his own dragon.

"Oh don't be so grumpy Cloud! I can't believe that you're my twin brother anyway! And how could so be so cruel to me especially after Mother died trying to fight off a group of Rare Hunters in heat! You're all that I have besides my deck, good looks, charming personality & these breasts!" she sobbed melodramatically while Cloud just stared at her. Then he finally opened his mouth & spoke.

"...Shut up & get on your knees, Kira."

**THE END**

**

* * *

**If you have a GX fic with Signers, synchros, offspring of uber cool duelists, possessed Hell Kaisers, dating service Light of Ruin, etc...

I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU, GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN HEAD. IT'S ANNOYING SEEING REVIEWS FROM IDIOTS WHO THINK THAT THIS IS FUNNY BUT THEY DON'T FLIPPING GET IT. D:


End file.
